Category: Nurture your body

When we pay any attention to our body, we seem to focus on its’ imperfections. Interestingly, we do not seem to do the same when we assess the physical structure of other entities in our life, like our cars, or our homes. Yet our bodies are the most sacred element we have in our lifetime.

Your body is a scientific marvel! When we wonder if a certain dress makes our butt look too big, we don’t seem to be focusing on the incredible aspects of our body that are so amazing, like the astonishing number of cells it contains.

Can you fathom what 100 trillion cells look like?

When we worry about the last person who broke our heart, we don’t consider that this very heart, regardless of the heart breaks, will continue to beat at a rate of 100,000 times every day sending a couple of thousands of gallons of blood through 60,000 miles of blood vessels. Our bodies are our beautiful temples—stretch marks, wrinkles, sun damage and all.

Do you sometimes feel lost in the midst of recommendations about how to best care for your body, and how they change based on the trendy soup de jour? I suggest an approach that is based on ancient wisdom: “Balance is excellence.” This approach only requires an open mind and the commitment to maintain a five to one ratio between positive and negative choices we make every day for our body.

Would you like to join me?

Performance Excellence and Frazzle

Have you ever had a day like this?

  • You are working hard, yet you cannot complete tasks effectively.
  • You forget what you were doing a minute ago.
  • You have difficulty concentrating, and—as much as you try to—you cannot keep your mind on one task.

If you have days like these, you are not alone. Many of us feel frazzled (hopefully, only occasionally) when stress becomes so great that it starts interfering with our performance.

Contrary to popular belief, stress is not all bad. In fact, stress can be a positive, motivational force that gives us the ability to sharpen our performance and rise to a challenging occasion. However, the relationship between stress and performance follows a predictable bell-shaped curve, where optimal performance deteriorates as stress increases (1908, Robert M. Yerkes and John Dillingham Dodson).

DRAWING OF YERKES DODSON BELL CURVE.

What is frazzle?

Frazzle is the performance zone associated with what we know as distress. It is the part of the Yerkes Dodson bell-shaped curve just beyond optimal performance, where stress increases to a point that results in deterioration of performance. When in frazzle mode, the quantity of hormones released by our stress response lead to a cascade of events, which have the ability to interfere with our ability to learn, innovate, be creative, or even effectively manage our time. Furthermore, if we hang out in frazzle mode for too long, our body systems start malfunctioning, making us susceptible to illness and potential long-term damage to organs and bodily functions.

A different perspective on why employees don’t do what they are supposed to do

When I was first nominated to enter management development, I was expected to read a dozen best-selling leadership books as part of my mandatory training. As much as I enjoyed learning from this incredible list of experts, I noticed something interesting: Every single one of them looked at employees a bit like they were “problems” that managers had to “solve” in order to achieve individual and organizational performance excellence.

The truth is, most of the time the real culprit causing poor performance is not bad employees but negative, physiological consequences, which take place when we humans are stretched too thin without adequate time in between to reset.

We are not machines, but beautifully complex body systems requiring ample time to rest and digest experiences in between jumping over hurdles. Research has proven that performance is negatively affected when the demands of work and life become greater than our ability to bounce back to our calm, balanced state, known as homeostasis. When we are in our neutral state, our heart is beating at the correct rate (80-100 beats per minute), our temperature is just right (97-98 degrees Fahrenheit), we have access to the executive part of our brain, and our immune and digestive systems are working well. Every demand we place on an organism produces stress—a temporary state where our body goes off-balance to meet a demand.

When we are burning the candle at both ends—going to work early and then working late at night to meet yet another work deadline—we don’t consciously think how, in order to meet that deadline, we are actually taking our body off-balance temporarily. For example, whether we are an Olympian running to win a Gold Medal, or a mere, corporate executive giving a presentation to our peers and boss, our heart rate and body temperature will increase above and beyond our normal, balanced states to meet that demand. If we keep this up for too long, we spend less and less time at an optimal heart rate or temperature level.

The sum total of all the adjustments an organism has to make to return the body to its’ balanced state in the face of stressors is called allostatic load (McEwan and Stellar, 1993). The higher the allostatic load, the more our performance deteriorates and the higher the probability is that we will experience functional organ and body damage.

How do we incorporate all the insights that science has lent us regarding the impact of stress to increase individual and organizational health and optimal performance? Here are the most valuable lessons I learned from the team of eight people I had the privilege of leading in my very first job as a manager.

  1. 
 We need to start living our values outside of employee handbooks. Are we really supporting work-life balance if we are expected to give up our lunch to meet yet another deadline, or to take a Sunday night red-eye flight to be at a noon meeting across the country? Work-life balance initiatives sound great inside the pages of our employee manuals, but they actually lead to peak performance when these values are supported by actions.

 

  1. We need to invest in building a culture of community at the workplace. When life’s demands become too high, we humans tend to find comfort in the support kindly offered to us by people who care about us and show up at times of stress. Beyond revenues and corporate objectives, one effective antidote to frazzle is to create time and space to connect with employees as humans, above and beyond corporate meetings and performance metrics. Let’s face it, we all spend a significant amount of our life at work. It is unlikely that we will go the extra mile for a boss or a company that does not really care about us as human beings.

 

  1. We need to start talking about stress openly. We cannot possibly eliminate stress in life, but we can increase our stress resilience. How can we build stress resilience though, if we turn a blind eye to the hidden, negative impact of stress? What if our annual business plans included SMART (specific, measurable, action-oriented, results-oriented, and time-specific) goals around stress resilience?  We need to stop seeing stress as a sign of weakness in employees, but as a larger problem and a significant health and safety issue in the workplace.

 

  1. We need to put down the stick and give more carrots. Despite the robust evidence that behaviorism does not work, fear-based leadership still appears to be the king. In fact, carrot and stick leadership is wreaking havoc in corporate America, costing a staggering amount of dollars in lost productivity and health issues. It’s time to truly see employees as valuable assets. After all, nobody wakes up in the morning thinking, “Today is a great day for me to be a low performer.” Isn’t it time we see with eyes wide open how much a threatened brain hampers performance?

 

  1. Happy employees really do make productive employees. When we review the philosophy and strategies of the companies that continually make the list of the best companies to work for, we can clearly see that these companies provide their employees with unconventional perks that go beyond additional pay. These perks can include on-site gyms or childcare, flex-time options, or even providing employees with designated time to meditate or get massages at work. The common thread amongst these exemplary organizations is that they realize the importance of providing the time and space for their people to rest and regroup in order for them to do amazing things for their companies in return. And they often do!

 

I was extremely frazzled and stressed out when I was given the honor and responsibility to lead a team for the first time in my career a little over a decade ago.

As it turned out though, my people shone for me, and in nine months our team moved from ranking at the bottom of our company to being the number one performing team in the nation! Although I was somewhat unconventional in my leadership approach (I cooked Greek food for my team at my home and even succeeded in changing company policies a couple of times to support my teams’ needs) it was not really me, but my people who actually realized this great accomplishment.

Every organization in any industry needs to perform well in order to remain profitable and survive against market variables. That means we all have to stretch ourselves to meet performance expectations.

But if we wish to see exceptional performance then active steps—such as the five steps listed above—need to be implemented to neutralize the negative impact of frazzle and stress.

And, if we are truly serious about performance excellence, here’s the most potent thing we can do to launch our employees’ superhero: We need to actively reflect that we “have their back!”

Energy Efficiency

It seems that there is a concerted effort to improve our energy efficiency, including by targeting more sustainable resources and by rewarding consumers with rebates, discounts, and tax credits. I have invested quite a bit of time myself identifying improvements in my energy usage and potential energy leaks in my house. I am updating my twenty-year-old attic insulation and my pool pump, and I am going solar.

But all of this work to improve my home’s energy efficiency got me thinking -Why aren’t we investing time in identifying the optimal flow of energy in our precious body, mind, and spirit?

I recently had an unexpected health scare that led me to an endless series of tests to rule out serious issues. My lack of personal energy efficiency has come with a big cost in my life. Hence, I decided to dedicate this week’s blog post to compiling the biggest energy efficiency lessons that I have gleaned through my successes and failures.

Here they are:

  1. We all have a finite amount of energy every day.

When we put our energy into people, places, and things that do not return at least the same amount of energy that we expend on them, we end up with an energetic deficit. In order to keep up with our daily activities, we then have to turn to our own body tissues for an overdraft to cover the energetic debt, which leads to a great amount of dis-ease in our bodies. Its not very different with the way we make deposits and withdrawals in our bank account. Prudence is required as to where we allow our energy to flow. It is part of life that we may sometimes lose energy, for example, when we nurture relationships with people who fail to show up for us when we need an energy boost ourselves. However, when we point out this energy imbalance to them, and we do not see a change in the energy exchange, it is time to reconsider if the investment in the relationship is worth it.

2. Energy is power.

Power is often defined, incorrectly, as having influence over others. When we look at the dictionary for the definition of power, we realize that power is also defined as our ability to do something effectively. If and when we find ourselves drained, a sure way to get our power back is to fine-tune how effective our approach is at arriving at our desired outcomes instead of worrying about others’ mishaps and ineffectiveness. Is there a part of your life that you feel that you need to become more effective at? You, and only you, have the power to change that aspect of your life. All it takes is mindset, commitment, and practice.

3. Negative emotions, situations, and people are big energy suckers!

In fact, it is scientifically proven that when we allow unhealthy and toxic habits, people, and behaviors into our life, our metabolic energy will be hi-jacked from our essential, higher structures and functions and redirected to our large muscle groups to address the threat posed to our internal integrity and balance. Furthermore, if we allow this emotional hi-jacking to go on for too long, we are subject to long-term damage to essential organs and functions, congruent with the impact of chronic stress. This is now well documented in scientific literature. The term, allostasis, coined in the mid- nineties by scientists, McEwan and Stellar, describes the long-term wear and tear on our body when we willingly expose it to chronic stress. This wear and tear is the ultimate price we pay for not practicing energy efficiency in our own body systems. Yet it is completely within our control to improve our energy efficiency. All we have to do is to look for the gold in unexpected situations and set firm boundaries to protect us from people and situations that cause us unnecessary stress.

4. One of the greatest energy leaks for each and every one of us happens when there are misalignments between thoughts, words, and actions.

Whether we are the ones that don’t have synergy between our words and actions, or whether important people in our life present us with differences between what they say they are going to do and what they actually do, the energy cost to our brain to reconcile these differences is great. It is important to recognize and take corrective action to ensure harmony in the flow of thoughts, words, and actions. Mahatma Gandhi defines this harmony as happiness. Neuroscience can certainly back up that claim!

5. We are the most profound source of energy and power for ourselves.

Although we have adopted the societal view that external things (money, titles, accomplishments, people) will give us power, if and when we get all of those things, we arrive at the most noble truth: Nothing can match the source of energy and power that only we can grant to ourselves through investing in our own self-actualization—healing anything that holds us back and cultivating a profound, deep-rooted sense of self-worth. Trust me. I know this very well from my own life story. What is it that you can do within your control that makes you feel whole? If you are waiting for someone to treat you how you deserve to be treated, how can you generate this love for yourself today?

6. Taking responsibility is one of the most immense sources of power we can ever claim!

We have been conditioned to blame external circumstances for anything that is not going according to plan in our life. We blame our parents and our humble beginnings, or the economy, or our boss, or our corporate culture, and the list goes on. What we overlook every time we blame others is how much power we are actually giving away when we essentially say we have no ability to change the outcome of a situation that we are not pleased with. Instead of blaming others, we can recognize that we are in charge of the reality we create, being accountable for when our actions do not match our desired outcome, and choosing what we will do different to get to the end result we want. When we do something differently, something magical happens: we get different results!

7. Becoming more energy efficient means getting a better sense of what is associated with us gaining or losing our personal power.

We can start by paying attention to our thoughts and where we spend our energy. Instead of mourning our losses or failures, we can look at all of our life’s twists and turns as exactly what we needed to experience in order to be where we are today. Every single mishap, difficulty, and challenge has served its’ purpose as a guidepost to highlight new truths that we had to learn. Maintain an ongoing inventory of how your body feels based on what you do, when you do it, and who you do it with. Regardless of how intelligent or well-educated we may be, our humble biology—our own bodies—run amazing surveillance on what is good or bad to optimize our systems. All we have to do is be still enough to listen!

We go through life driven by internal forces that propel us to get closer to pleasure and stay away from pain. Yet we seem to overlook the fact that all of life’s experiences require energy that we often lose when we attempt to fill up our energy reserves through external sources. We are in charge of organizing our life in a way that works for us. It takes discipline to learn how to be in our own power and become our core source of love, approval, and acceptance. We may not know where to start to fine-tune our relationship with energy.

Working with an intuitive energy healer may be a great start to help you identify where you may be losing your energy and to help you create a road map on how to claim it back. My own work with Sarah Grace, sarahkgrace.com, was an invaluable beginning for me in learning how to take small steps daily that helped me heal my past missteps and become better at claiming and taming my own noble power. This work led me back to my true, authentic self.

There is never a better time than now to claim some of your power back. If you wish to change anything in your life that is not working for you contact me for a free check up. (tzeli@myndzen.com)

We can all place our energy on so many different things, but the one thing I can promise you is that committing and incorporating practices to improve your energy efficiency is one of the most profound changes you can make toward living the healthy, wholesome, and joyful life that you want.

Strive for balance and not perfection

We all want to live our best life, with our BMI below 25, our blood pressure below 120, and a good night’s sleep averaging eight or more hours per day. We all strive toward these great outcomes, but our current, national health statistics reflect that we still need quite a bit of work to get there. The World Health Organization defines health as the complete physical, mental and social wellbeing. I don’t know about you, but I believe that one of the major risk factors to my optimal health is my own intolerance of my imperfections: I seem to have the tendency of giving up on any health improvement initiative the moment I take a wrong turn and make a mistake! Have you ever been on a diet? What happens when your desire for that slice of pizza wins over your willpower and you give in and eat the pizza?

Do you just shrug it off and move on back to your perfect balance between fruit and veggies, protein and carbs, saying, “hmmm…that was good, now I will get back on track,” or do you give up on the diet all together and eat the whole pizza? Hopefully most of us fall somewhere in-between, but I have an idea: Since none of us are perfect, what if we strive for balance instead of perfection? What if our health goal is to end up with a “five-to-one” positive to negative ratio in our choices that pertain to our health? In other words, what if we ensure that we make five positive choices for every mishap or negative choice we make? If I have that pizza for lunch because I was at that work function and “that is all that was available,” then I will add an extra positive act toward health, like adding an extra fifteen minutes to my walk.

I first became aware of the “five-to-one ratio” concept when I attended the Gottman Institute’s “Art and Science of Love” workshop a couple of years ago. Apparently, since we cannot avoid making mistakes in our primary relationships, making a conscious effort to replenish our emotional relationship bank with five positive acts of kindness for every time we mess up, has been found to do wonders for neutralizing the impact of impasses in relationships. The Gottman Institute, founded by John Gottman, Ph.D., has gathered data for several decades that link behaviors with relational success—predicting divorce with 94% accuracy. However, over this last decade, scientists have explored the application of this ratio in many different life situations, even in the workplace. And guess what? The higher the positive to negative ratio is at work is directly linked to a steady, measurable increase in performance.

Personally, I have found this ratio to be true in every relationship that is important in my life, not just with my precious daughter or a significant other, but also in my relationship with food, my relationship with exercise, my relationship with nature, and most of all, the relationship I have with myself! Striving for perfection and punishing ourselves for giving in to a piece of bacon, or a slice of pizza, is making significant withdrawals from the bank of positive emotions we have for and with ourselves. In order to accomplish optimal health, we have to look with eyes wide open at every component of our lives that is interfering with our ability to maintain a positive balance. Optimal wellness is a significant commitment that we choose to make. But as with every other commitment in life, the commitment to our health requires a deep and unconditional love for ourselves—one that forgives a limitation, or a moment of weakness, and recognizes our beauty in our best and our worst.

So, if you are one of us, struggling to lose weight, give up a bad habit, or stick to a routine of regular exercise, my most heartfelt and effective tip is: Love yourself a little more and increase your self-compassion for your mistakes.

And who knows, maybe striving for a healthier balance in the way we embrace all of who we are, with all of our good and not so good actions and choices, may well be just the perfect prescription to reverse our current health trajectory!