Category: The Problem

What keeps you up at night?

Is it money? Work? Family responsibilities? Relationships? Health?

Have you considered that what keeps us up at night is our thoughts about life situations?

Lying awake at night is simply one of our body’s reactions to the meaning we give to life situations.

But do we see things for what they truly are?

Join me in exploring how to be in charge of your power by choosing the way you look at what we have come to define as the major challenges of our existence.

Three Lessons Chronic Illness taught Me About Our Health Paradox

What concerns you about your health?

Is your weight outside of the healthy range?

Is your blood pressure too high?

How many nights this week did you have difficulty sleeping?

If you are struggling with any of the above health issues, or with any others, you are definitely not alone.

According to the latest stress survey of the American Psychological Association, health is the third highest cause of stress in the US.

The World Health Organization defines health as “the state of complete physical, mental, and social well-being.”

The state of our health

Over this last century, amazing medical and technological accomplishments have revolutionized our ability to improve our health. We have conquered the battle of treating communicable diseases with vaccines, antivirals, and antibiotics. Our ability to diagnose disease through sophisticated imaging techniques has been enhanced. And we can even intervene in our genetic predisposition to disease through revolutionary insights on the genetic material of an organism.

However, the mind-blowing knowledge we have acquired has not yielded the health improvements one would expect.

Despite all of our technical progress, we have never been as obese, over-medicated, or stressed as we are today.

There seems to be a gap between knowledge, medical advances, and the state of our health.

You could say that I am the “poster child” of this health paradox. Despite my educational and professional expertise in improving health, I failed miserably in applying this expertise to my own well-being. At the peak of my outward success, I developed a debilitating musculoskeletal disorder that has placed a huge strain on the quality of my life.

In many ways, I am thankful to the wake-up call of my chronic illness.

I don’t mean to minimize the negative aspects of living with a spinal disorder and chronic pain. However, my ultimate failure gave birth to my new life mission. My mission became translating science into practical, everyday activities that could close the gap between our medical advances and the state of our health. Starting with my own!

I delved deep into the latest neuroscience insights and psychological theories and got certified in the discipline of integrative wellness.

Here is the knowledge I overlooked to embrace to resolve my own health paradox, that you may want to consider for your own health.

1. We are an exquisite scientific marvel, which is primed for wellness.

I used to think that my health would be great when I had more money, time, support, friends, resources, or accomplishments. You can probably create a similar list.

Yet, we already have all we need to enjoy optimal health.

Our body balances and self-regulates itself in the face of external environmental changes.

Our body temperature is an example. Consider how our body keeps our temperature just right without us having to take any action. If at any point we get too warm, a signal is sent through our nervous system to our endocrine system. This triggers dilation of our arteries along with sweating so we lose the excess body heat.

But sometimes, we overwhelm our bodies via the perceptual lens through which we view the world. For example, we fear public speaking more than death, simply by the way we view it!

I needed to be more aware of how powerful our body systems are and use them for health instead of wasting their capabilities for defense.

Now I know how to maintain my nervous and cardiovascular systems in a calm, balanced state for health and restoration. Mindfulness has been a great way for me to pick and choose which battles are worthy of my energy.

 2. Over 90% of todays’ disease is either directly, or indirectly, linked to stress.

Stress is nothing other than the way our body responds to demands from the environment. Yet today, the demands of modern life evidently exceed our ability to maintain balance in our physical, emotional, and spiritual selves.

Although we may think this is the price we have to pay to be successful, operating according to our stress response has several pitfalls.

Critical structures and functions malfunction. Our thinking brain shuts down and the functions that keep us healthy become greatly compromised. We are then more prone to developing disease.

Our bodies may respond to a stressful situation by releasing hormones or increasing heart rate, metabolic rate, and blood flow to our large muscles. However, we can intervene. We can redirect the energy in the structures of our brain that are involved in problem solving by pausing and observing our thoughts about a situation. We might even decide to challenge the situation. Maintaining a sense of calm also ensures the optimal performance of our immune system, which is well-equipped to keep us healthy.

3. The way we respond to life’s demands happens without our permission.

Have you ever wondered why your heart starts to race when you are asked to speak in public? Science informs us that our heart rate will increase as a physiological response to a threat. But, in reality, public speaking involves no threat, except perhaps to our self-concept!

In fact, most of the situations that lead to our lack of self-care, work/life imbalance, or other unhealthy behaviors relate to fears regarding our self-concept.

Whatever negative experiences happened during our early development produced neuro-chemical changes that were stored as our automatic responses to life’s stressors. Until we re-write our past, our implicit childhood memories run our life without our permission.

But if our old beliefs limit and do not serve us, we can create a new narrative that does not interfere with our ability to succeed in life.

For example, the next time you feel compelled to sacrifice family time in order to work late, challenge the belief that propels you to do so. You may have established the belief that hard work is rewarded and self-care is for lazy people, but is this really so?

Setting healthy boundaries and providing yourself with well-deserved space to rest in between sprints of work activity actually increases your productivity.

If like me, you have struggled to maintain your health at optimal levels, it may be time to do something different!

All the knowledge in the world is not going to improve our well-being unless we translate it into practical interventions. Our health paradox clearly indicates that our current interventions have plenty of room for improvement. We are missing something that could help us get to the bottom of our health problems so that we can finally solve them.

The significant part of this story that we may be overlooking is our mind. Our mind is the system that regulates the flow of energy and information in our life.

We may consider our mind to be an abstract concept. However, our mind gives meaning to every life experience.

You can tap into ways to work with your mind to train your brain to achieve a happier and healthier reality. If this interests you, don’t miss my next article on this topic!

Better yet, join my community to be notified as soon as this next article is published.

According to Earl Nightingale, the human mind may be the last unexplored continent on earth, but it does indeed contain riches beyond our wildest dreams. And our mind will certainly return anything we want to plant, especially if we plant tangible, scientifically-proven practices that support our health.

The Problem of Addiction and Recovery

We have eradicated many of what used to be fatal diseases and also increased our life expectancy to the highest it has ever been.  Yet, we are in the midst of a significant global health crisis, which does not align with our incredible medical advances.  

We all recognize heart disease as one of the major killers of our species. But do you know which disease wrecks more lives than heart disease and cancer combined? Addiction!

Perhaps you think that this problem does not impact you.  After all, you are neither a homeless, opioid addict nor a character in a Quentin Tarantino movie.

In this article, I invite you to reconsider.

Recovery from addiction is a daunting challenge for the individual, family, and for our society. But if we unmask the real problems of addiction, perhaps we can come up with more effective solutions for recovery. 

Although I am not an addiction professional, eliminating obstacles to recovery from addiction is a personal mission for me. This mission began when I was sixteen and lost a loved one to a drug overdose.

For the last thirty years, I have been a committed advocate of addiction recovery. I began this work in college when I volunteered at the “Council for drug problems”. And today, a big part of my work as a Integrative Wellness coach and speaker involves providing addiction professionals with effective tools against compassion fatigue and burnout.

The privilege of working with these incredible individuals has taught me much about what the real problem with addiction is. I have also learned what it means to rise like the phoenix from the ashes and begin a new life.

Addiction and recovery

See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil

This proverb of the three wise monkeys seems to encapsulate pretty well our problems with addiction. Our lack of moral responsibility and our choice to look the other way on this very solvable problem, may be the most lethal component of this issue.

  1. See No Evil: We don’t see addiction for what it really is

 

We often view addiction as a weakness, character flaw, or a punishable crime. However, addiction is a disease, which involves well-substantiated alterations of our brain’s structures and functions. Science informs us that the disease of addiction is a “brain disorder that is characterized by engagement in rewarding stimuli despite the adverse consequences.”

Regardless of our personal history, our common biology propels us to act in ways that get us closer to pleasure and away from pain. If we experienced events in our early life that disrupted the proper development of certain parts of our brain, we may be prone to turn to a substance for relief from pain. (Emotional, or physical.)

But we don’t have to be an opioid addict to suffer from this affliction.

Many of us turn to perfectly legal activities to activate the reward center of our brain despite their adverse consequences. These may include alcohol, work, shopping, video games, social media, or something as simple as food.

Addiction is a treatable disease, but we have to see it for what it is for effective recovery to occur.

  1. Hear No Evil: Stigma and shame.

Stigma is defined as “the mark of disgrace associated with a particular circumstance, quality, or person.” 

Here is how Stigma shows up as a problem with addiction. Historically, instead of joining hands to create paths to recovery for our fellow humans who struggle with addiction, we have cast them out and punished them. We throw people who are not well into the criminal justice system and make it impossible for them to get well or return to a healthy, productive reality.

Can you imagine punishing a fellow human being for having hypertension, diabetes,or obesity?  Sixty-seven percent of us struggle with weight issues or obesity. How would putting us away solve this problem?

  1. Speak No Evil: Fear makes addiction a silent killer.

Of the twenty million Americans who are struggling with substance misuse, only 10% seek treatment. 

The shame and stigma of addiction drive us to suffer alone and prevent us from seeking help. We are afraid to come forth into the light because of fear of the consequences. Thus, we are deprived of the possibility of treatment and recovery. The problem with hiding our issues with addiction is that it cuts off our lifeline to solutions.

Many people around us struggle with addiction, but we will never know if we don’t speak about it. By hiding our struggles and not celebrating our stories of recovery, we deprive one another of the support and resources to recover. Our hearts have been closed for so long because of our fear of being judged and losing connection.We can gain the relief we need through meaningful connection and kinship with others who perhaps suffer too. But this solution is hi-jacked by our fear. 

The unknown is a significant risk factor for our health,as is social isolation. It is not too late to take an active stance and break the silence of addiction.

If you personally are suffering in silence, know that you are not alone!

Call 1-800-662-HELP (4357). This is a free and confidential treatment, referral,and information services line open 24 hours/7 days a week.The service is operated by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA).

Final thoughts

Almost half a century ago, a Professor of psychology named Bruce Alexander came across a compelling discovery in a now famous addiction experiment that he called “Rat Park”.

He found that we do not become addicted to activities that have adverse consequences because we are flawed. We engage in addictive behaviors because we do not have access to healthy ways to overcome the challenges of modern life. These healthy ways include connection to others and a sense of belonging.

The rats in the Rat Park experiment that lived in a housing colony, rather than in an isolated cage, were more resistant to addiction. When we have a solid sense of belonging (much like the rats in the Rat Park experiment), we have a positive way to stay closer to pleasure and further away from pain. We are able to do this without the adverse consequences of addictive substitutes.

I don’t mean to overlook the differences that the contributions of our individual histories of vulnerability, genetic make-ups and environments have on the problem of addiction.

I also do not intend to down-play the unique experiences and challenges that different forms of addiction present to our fellow human beings.

But I do agree with Professor Alexanderon the following point.

Our problem with addiction is much more of a social problem than it is an individual disorder.

We need to replace discrimination with compassion, punishment with compassionate care, and fear with early-addiction education and harm-reduction efforts. When we do this, then we may have the opportunity to solve the problem of addiction.

And we can then begin to end our global health crisis.

Self Worth Matters

self worth

What if I was to tell you that your sense of your self-worth is directly proportional to your happiness in life? Have you ever pondered what on earth self-worth is?The dictionary defines self-worth as “the sense of one’s own value or worth as a person.” But how do we get to value ourselves? Well, one thing is for sure: None of us are born with it.

Here are the two ways we can get a healthy dose of self-worth:

1. Learn it from responsive primary caregivers in our early life, or

2. Cultivate it through dedicated “self-work” as an adult.

Origin of self-worth

Believe it or not, the value we place on ourselves in the world begins forming in our mother’s womb alongside the development of our nervous system as early as twenty-eight days after our conception! As an infant, our worth is shaped by how we are perceived by our first attachment figures—our parents. Our brain gets sculpted by the information it actually processes, so a nurturing environment ideally will form the blueprint of how we should expect life to go for us, which is directly related to our perception of our place in this world. Imagine our brain as a network of freeways taking us to different destinations.

When we feel a need like hunger, as a baby, we do not yet know what that leads to. If the response from our mother comes in the form of a feeding, that builds a “freeway” in our brain’s neural circuitry, which takes us to a place where we feel reflected and seen. Therefore, a positive implicit memory forms about our place in the world. (Implicit is a memory that cannot be recalled consciously.)

Of course what I call “a freeway” is basically a connection between our neurons (synapses). These connections represent the main channels of information flow and storage in our brain.

In early childhood, hundreds of synapses are formed per second. It is within these connections and not in plain sight, where how much we value ourselves forms.

Later, as children, we process more data from the outside world, creating more pathways of being, while in the background; we chisel away parts of ourselves that are not reflected by the outside world. Sadly, storing away what the external environment, does not reward, can lead to us having a diminished sense of self-worth over time without even realizing it.

The delightful Dr. Brene Brown has pretty much proven in over fifteen years of grounded theory research (generation of theory from systematic research), that our issues with self-worth are universal!

That means that although we may not want to admit it or be consciously aware of it, we could all improve our experience of life (even just a tad) by investing some of our attention in uncovering areas of improvement in how much we truly value ourselves.

Here is a list of behaviors that give away that one has a wounded sense of self-worth. If you identify with any of the items below, be happy, because addressing these issues is also the “to-do list” to get on the pathway to living the most beautiful experience of life ever imaginable.

-We look for approval in external sources, although we do not like to admit it!

-We are not that good at setting boundaries. We have a hard time saying no, although that makes us very frustrated on the inside.

-Although we are very good at playing the role of a good relationship partner in the beginning of a relationship, deep down, we have a fear of dependency, so we will often sabotage our relationships— even the ones that are truly wonderful.

-We have a hard time taking responsibility for our own actions and prefer to blame others when things do not work out in life.

-Although we are very smart and eloquent, we often contradict ourselves. What we think, what we say, and what we do are not in harmony. (Based on Mahatma Gandhi’s definition, that is the opposite of happiness.)

-We are not comfortable expressing our own feelings and needs, so instead we take the stance that we don’t have needs, going against our primary force in life— the need for human connection! When we are not satisfied with another person, we give them the silent treatment.

-We have the propensity to take things personally.

-Although we may create a really beautiful exterior, our deep, hidden, fragile sense of self, may lead us to seek to have power over another in order to elevate our sense of self. This can range from mild passive- aggressive behaviors all the way to different types of abuse.

In extreme cases when someone’s damaged sense of self-worth is the result of a traumatic experience like sexual abuse in childhood, one can completely “kill off” the real self in exchange for a false self, which can lead not only to maladaptive behaviors, but also to a wide range of personality disorders that can greatly impact ones’ odds of being able to successfully navigate through life.

A healthy sense of self-worth holds riches beyond comprehension that are directly related to all noble human pursuits. Understanding our own neurobiology and our selves, can be a gateway to the incredible freedom of personal transformation. We don’t actually have to be a scientist to take advantage of the Nobel Prize-winning discovery of neuroplasticity— the process by which our brain can be changed and re-wired throughout the course of our life by environmental interventions.

We can change the pathways that have been created in our brain from our past experience and re-write the narrative of our story.

And we can start by the simple practice of bringing to our awareness the narrative of our thoughts. Anything outside of our awareness is also outside of our control to change!

Then we have to be ready to cut the lifeline to excuses. But that is a whole different story that I will tell you another time!

Self Worth matters was first published on RecoveryView.com, an Online journal on March 8, 2018.