Category: Career

What keeps you up at night?

Is it money? Work? Family responsibilities? Relationships? Health?

Have you considered that what keeps us up at night is our thoughts about life situations?

Lying awake at night is simply one of our body’s reactions to the meaning we give to life situations.

But do we see things for what they truly are?

Join me in exploring how to be in charge of your power by choosing the way you look at what we have come to define as the major challenges of our existence.

Overcoming Burnout and Disengagement.

Burnout is a phenomenon resulting from long-term stress that is characterized by exhaustion, cynicism, escalating health issues, and diminished performance.

Burnout and disengagement (a coping mechanism) are a significant threat to our well-being and are costing over $350 billion to US employers.

Most probably, we have all danced with burnout occasionally, but for some of us our burnout story went too far, and not only are we physically and emotionally exhausted all the time, but we are also experiencing:

  • Sleep disturbances
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Challenges with effective processing of information
  • Unexplained illnesses, (physical and emotional)
  • Irritability and impatience
  • Memory impairment

When we find ourselves in the painful state of burnout, we feel like we are at a dead end with no way out and we cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel. We expect the solution to come from outside sources -our employer to balance the demands and the resources available to meet those demands, or we start looking for another job. Research, however, is showing that it can take a minimum of two years to reverse the negative impact of burnout and return to our healthy, high-performing self, even if we change jobs and go to healthier workplace culture.

So, what can we do that is within our control to neutralize the toxic impact of burnout on our body and mind?

It goes without saying that reinstating balance by practicing basic self-care is critical to avoiding the long-term consequences of burnout. Some examples of self-care are:

  • Eat well. (Add as many fresh whole foods as possible – Avoid anything that sits on a shelf.
  • Avoid consuming large quantities of alcohol and caffeine.
  • Create a nighttime routine that helps you Improve your sleep quality.
  • Get a minimum of 30 minutes a day of physical activity.
  • Develop a plan your day ahead the night before setting realistic expectations of what you want to accomplish..
  • Get comfortable saying no and setting healthy boundaries.
  • Commit to a daily of detaching your mental activity from taxing thoughts and becoming more and more comfortable with your power to reinstate a calm state on demand.
  • Journal for five minutes before you get up in the morning. Choose an intention for the day and identify things you are grateful for.

In addition, I would like to offer you three deeper responses to burnout that really helped me when I was not only struggling with burnout and disengagement, but was also experiencing some significant health complications as a result..

  1. See burnout for what it is. If we peel back all the layers of the phenomena we call burnout and disengagement, right at the core we will find something we are all very familiar with: Fear! In fact, almost all challenges we have to deal with involve a battle between trust/love and fear. Challenge yourself to get to the core of what is truly worth being afraid of or losing sleep over. Are your fears reasonable and about things that are happening now? Or are you letting your work (title, performance review rating, etc.) define your identity and self-worth? Self-worth—the sense of your own value as a person—can only truly come from you and how you navigate life situations.

The practice: Every morning, take a few minutes to observe your thoughts before starting your day. Identify one fear that is holding you back today. Challenge your self to assess if this fear pertains to something that is here now and ask your self- “ is this fear a truth or a story”? You already have all the answers. You just have to be still enough to listen.

  1. Call burnout by name and speak about it openly. When we feel compromised inside the tight grip of burnout, we tend to isolate. We may feel ashamed and compare ourselves to how great we think others are—our neighbor, our colleague, our sister, our friend. We put so much energy into hiding until we get better. Yet, if we look closer, even the most successful people that we admire had to overcome failure and rise like the phoenix from the ashes. Every success story has a victory over the darker aspects of our lives.

The practice: Initiate a discussion about your struggle with burnout with the significant people in your work life—your work friends and your direct supervisor. Speaking openly about burnout can not only urge your organization to do something about it, but can also inspire the other (over 70%) of people who are struggling with disengagement and burnout as well.

  1. Create space to rest and digest in between sprints. When we are struggling with burnout we tend to find ourselves lost in the daze of never shutting down shop. We continue to work, even on evenings and weekends, in the hope that we will catch up and get back on track. Remember, part of the problem of chronic stress is that the most brilliant part of our brain is temporarily off-line. In order to turn our brain back on, we need to create the space to breathe and completely disconnect from the merry-go-round and the rat race.

The practice: Place your electronic devices on airplane mode and do as much as you can to nourish your soul and your body outside of business hours. Take a walk in a near-by park with your loved ones after dinner on weekdays. Let yourself reset by spending ample time in nature over the weekends, letting the sound of waves or the flow of a river wash away stressors you had to deal with during the week.

Throughout the course of our life, we have accepted a story of what will take us to some universal life destinations. Happiness, Success, and Freedom are three human pursuits that are probably on everyone’s list.

However, we seem to forget that we are in charge of determining the path to getting to those destinations.

Our struggle with stress and its cousins, burnout and disengagement, clearly indicates that somewhere along our journey we forgot how much power we have to change the words of our story and determine how it will end.

As much as you may feel hopeless and unable to see the light, remember that we can train our brain to work with us to create a happier and healthier reality. (We have the greatest Neuroscience discovery at our disposal to change our brain to for a happier reality – http://bit.ly/neuroplasticitymyndzen).

All it takes is committing to one small daily practice at a time, which can add up to making a huge difference long-term in our brain’s architecture, our health, and our happiness. And that my friend, is 100% within your control.

What Did You Want to Be When You Grew Up? I Bet It Wasn’t Burned Out!

Do you remember what you originally wanted to be when you grew up?

I wonder how many of us are doing the work that is our purpose at this level of existence?

One thing is certain: Regardless of what it is that we once dreamed of becoming in life, none of us aspired to become:

  • One of the 70% of US employees (or 86% of global employees) that are not “engaged” at work, that is, who are clocking in and out, just getting by, and dreading Mondays.
  • One of the 75% of us that regularly experience symptoms of stress: sleep deprivation, irritability, exhaustion, depression, anxiety, over-medication, or drinking alcohol at the end of the day to relax.
  • One of us who has experienced irreversible body function and/or organ damage as a result of chronic stress.
  • One of us who feel frazzled and burned out.

How did we get here and why are so many of us suffering at work? Considering we spend so much of our life at work, isn’t it time we invest our energy in solving this problem?

Once upon a time – The beginning of our relationship with burnout

When I was a young child, I dreamed of “uncovering what is toxic to humans and discovering the antidote for it.” I wanted to become a writer that told the world stories about “ending pain and suffering.”

But I was told that writing and telling stories were hobbies and that I should choose to become something significant, like a scientist.

I was such a little artist at heart. I loved photography, and I played the piano and sang, but the message was clear—none of those things were good enough for me to be considered a success in the world.

My parents, to this day, are “life of the party” kind of folks, having social gatherings with my dad’s famous guitar and singing performances that last till the early hours of the morning.

My father, however, gave up his passion for music and a record deal to become a good family man and provider.

See, my dad was not Carl Jung! (The father of psychoanalysis and the theory of individuation).

My father, like most of us, did not realize that we tend to stash away the parts of ourselves that are not reflected by the environment, which predisposes our brain to seek external approval in order to be accepted and rewarded.

Seeking external approval to feel “good enough” is the beginning of the problem!

Instead of practicing self-care and having healthy boundaries and true work life balance, we work around the clock, sacrifice our sleep on red eye flights, give up family time to work late, because that is what “professionals on a mission do, right?”

Disengagement and burnout, are a real threat to the health of individuals and organizations.

Contrary to our shame about being among the large percentage of professionals who are disengaged or burned out, research is showing that it is, in fact, the high performers who are more prone to these real threats to productivity and health. In fact, a 2013 Harvard study reflects that 96% of senior leaders report feeling burned out.

Disengagement and burnout are two of the most devastating threats to individual and organizational health. In the US alone, disengagement is costing employers over $350 billion in loss of productivity and absenteeism.

What does burnout look like and how does it relate to disengagement?

Burnout is a collection of symptoms that develop over time when work demands exceed the ability of the individual to meet them while maintaining internal balance.

Disengagement is a state of employees characterized by unhappiness and dissatisfaction at work.

Both disengagement and burnout have been proven to poison and impact every part of a person’s life, above and beyond their work. Along with their cousin, stress, which has the same fundamental origin, they can interchange with each other.

Here is a list of some warnings that you may be on the brink of burnout.

 

  1. You feel emotionally, physically, and spiritually drained.

We all work long hours and feel tired at the end of the day. But there is a difference between the sweet tiredness of a good day’s work and the exhaustion that you can’t seem to shake off.

 

  1. You have a hard time sleeping. (Especially on Sunday nights!)

Sleep is so essential to our health, happiness, and well-being. But when we live two-thirds of our life doing something we don’t feel happy about, a constant dread deprives us of even the most basic of human needs—our need to restore and reset through a good night’s sleep.

 

  1. Your performance is suffering. You have been a consistent top performer, won the MVP, and a myriad of other awards. Yet, suddenly, you feel ineffective, and you are losing your confidence.

 

  1. You are feeling anxious. Far from the heartbeat of excitement, you are starting to feel heart palpitations, dizziness, difficulty concentrating, and an ongoing sense of doom. Anxiety is not the price you have to pay to be a successful professional and can seriously impact your health in the long run.

 

  1. Irritability and anger/hostility. Small bursts of frustration and occasional feelings of anger are common human emotions. But are you finding yourself snapping often at people in your personal and professional life? It could be a sign that your thinking brain is turned off and you are operating from your primitive brain that only knows how to fight to keep you safe!

Take a moment to reflect. Do you suffer from any of the signs and symptoms above?

Now, I want you to think of a different scenario.

Imagine waking up tomorrow morning feeling refreshed, energized, and excited about your workday ahead.

You are living your values, and your work has meaning and purpose.

You feel a great sense of safety and security and are comfortable speaking your mind eloquently and assertively at work.

Your decisions are centered and driven by the mutual value of creating a healthy reality for both your body and the profit margin of your organization.

Your voice is heard and valued by your leaders. Beyond mission statements that focus on the lives your organization serves, your life matters to your employer.

Does this scenario sound like a pipe dream?

If it does, let it be a wake-up call.

It may be time to take some steps today to avoid or overcome burnout.

I will post my favorite Burnout Busters from the Employee Perspective next week.

You can sign up here http://bit.ly/JoinMyndZen to become part of my community and my mission to eliminate burnout and disengagement through improving our relationship with stress.

Until next time, take good care of yourself.

Tzeli

 

 

 

A Different Perspective on the Holidays: Is It the Most Wonderful Time of the Year?

Have you noticed how amazing the holidays look in commercials?

We see visions of perfection—“Martha Stewart” tables filled with fabulous, cooked food and matching napkins; people laughing and getting along; crackling fires and soothing music in the background; perfectly decorated homes and the image of the perfect family.

We would all love to be the protagonists in these holiday commercials.

But the truth is, that for many of us, the holidays are not as wonderful as the commercials show.

In real life, in the US alone,

  • Many of our families are devastated by pain from the loss of a loved one—a pain that resurfaces as we approach the first holiday season without them. Heart attacks and cancer claim the lives of a million of our loved ones each year, car accidents a million and a half, and 35,000 of us every year experience the unfathomable grief of losing a loved one to suicide.
  • 6 million of us have to survive the holidays after the devastation of divorce, and an additional number of unmarried couples cope with the aftermath of breakups.
  • Have you considered that over 43 million foreign-born immigrants live in the US? Some of us who are immigrants have families who live thousands of miles away and we don’t have any family close by to sit around our tables.
  • And then there are people who lost their jobs in the last twelve months who live with fear and anxiety about how they will make ends meet.

I am not trying to be negative here, but real life includes all of those situations that impact many of us and it is really not like the “Martha Stewart” holiday commercials.

And here is the craziest thing about this: Although we all carry our fair share of pain and suffering, more times than not, we prefer to hide it from the rest of the world. We are ashamed to admit what is happening in our life and simply choose to write “blessed” on our Facebook wall.

Did you know that research is showing that shame triggers the stress response in the same way that being chased by a mountain lion would?

 

Let this be a gentle reminder that regardless of our circumstances, our socio-economic status, or any other of our unique characteristics, we all experience our fair share of sadness and loneliness, which can be increased by the conditioned way we view “the holidays.” Have you considered that if we shared our vulnerabilities, instead of keeping them to ourselves, our hearts might feel lighter?

I know we all have endless lists around the holidays—gifts to buy, things to do, places to be. However, I invite you to add a few additional items to your “to do” list this holiday season:

  1. Choose kindness and compassion.

We sometimes get so busy and lost in the never-ending lists of things we have to do, that we forget how simple it is to share kind words and actions and how much of a difference this choice makes in the world. In fact, a significant amount of science has taught us that kindness and compassion are natural anti-depressants. Forget about Prozac. There are so many more things we can do to beat the blues.

—Smile to people you meet! Did you know that a simple smile registers with others more than any other human expression and gives us a sense of connection?

—Give genuine compliments. Do you notice something that is worth acknowledging in another? What if while we are stuck in a long grocery line we use this time to talk about positive things with the people close to us in line?

—Give someone flowers for no reason and wish them happy holidays!

  1. Make time and space for mindfulness.

A decade ago, a Harvard professor and his team developed an app that tracked peoples’ happiness depending on what they were doing when the team randomly checked in with them. They found that 47% of the time their minds had wandered to things outside of the present moment. Can you imagine that we are not actually present for half of our lives? (You can participate yourself by going to trackyourhppiness.org.)

How can we infuse little reminders into our day to anchor us back to the present moment?

—It could be something as simple as committing to noticing when our mind starts wandering and taking a deep breath inviting our mind to come back to the present moment.

—We can start our day by taking a few breaths to savor the fact that we are able to still breathe, and we can set an intention for the day.

—We can spend a few minutes before retiring to sleep to breathe in a sense of gratitude for all the wonderful things we experienced that day, even if the day included a challenging “crucial” conversation with someone at work.

  1. Choose happiness.

No matter how difficult life may be at times, there are still a million things we can find to be happy about.

—Our resilience—how our heart is still beating regardless of the challenges and adversity we have had to face in our lives!

—The beauty of nature and the abundance of oxygen that the trees produce for us every day.

—The people that we have in our lives to love and be loved by.

—The sunshine on our face every day, no matter how much darkness we have to deal with at times.

There is ample evidence that reflects a myriad of benefits of choosing the positive perspective: We cultivate more hope and optimism; we are more open to connection; we experience bolstered immune function and increased positive emotions, as well as an increase in our nervous systems’ “vagal tone,” which is associated with feeling relaxed, healthy, and well.

The holidays can be a wonderful time of the year, as every day of our life can be.

An important component to making our life the most wonderful it can be is to make the choice to accept and share an undeniable part of our humanness: the pain and suffering that is part of life.

Our suffering can lead to abundant love and happiness if we let it guide us in reaching out and touching the hand of a fellow human being who has experienced a loss similar to one that we have experienced; if we choose to be extra kind and extend more compassion and patience and understanding; if we all just step outside of the costumes we wear and expose our vulnerabilities.

Maybe together we can make a better world for all of us to live in.

Because after all, what will “make the bells ring” is the carol that you sing right within your heart.